Tonight I had a chance to do something that was out of my comfort zone. I attended one of our churches get to know each other barbeque's with the kids all by myself. I often rely on Mike to start the conversations and I do not like going places by myself. Since Mike is out of town and this was the only time I could go to one I thought let's take a chance and do something I normally wouldn't do. I was excited about the possibility of meeting some new people from my church. We only know a handful of people and I have been really wanting the opportunity to get to know many others. Unfortunately I left the whole thing feeling defeated, disappointed and generally bummed out. I did not meet one new person and only had one other say hi to me.
I was upset with myself for not making more of an effort while I was there, although it was hard trying to mingle and keep my kids from throwing sand at the same time. I should have been more bold in going up to people and introducing myself. I know that people don't just fall in your lap but I guess I thought more people would be willing to strike up conversation with me. I really do enjoy our church and there are a lot of great people there, I just have to figure out how to meet them.
So as I came home with some tears in my eyes, I almost started a pity party for myself and then I got to thinking. Was the event a failure because the outcome was not what I had desired? Was it a success because I took the first step and attended something I normally would have been too afraid to? Most of all I am thinking what am I supposed to learn from this situation, what is God teaching me. I'm not completely sure, but I do know I should have prayed before we even left for God's guidance and that I would recognize his presence while there. I pray Lord that you will continue to provide me with opportunities that are outside my comfort zone so I can rely on you and await your outcomes instead of relying on myself and my own set of expectations. Thankyou that you are always present and willing to listen, guide, encourage and love me.
Big Boo Cast: Episode 421
4 hours ago
2 comments:
Great honesty girl. You did take a huge first step, and your heart is definitely in the right place. Keep taking those steps, you'll be surprised how many people feel and think the same way you do.
As a side note, Aaron and I attended the picnic last Sunday and had a great time. My sister Beth and her husband Joel attend, they have a little boy Jackson who's one. She's very easy to get along with. We also know the Hanfs - Ryan and Nicole. They have 3 boys - 6,3 and newborn - great people. She's a little shy, but once she starts talking, very easy conversation. We also know Karen and Roger(praise team leader). Aaron and Roger used to play softball together, their son Ryan is 10 and daughter Kylie is 7, very down to earth family, amazing testimony there. I hope you don't mind me mentioning, sometimes it's a good conversation starter to have something to ask. I'll be praying for you, the Lord has a great story he is writing in your life. Keep praying for those "out of comfort" zones and simply watch him work, the joy is amazing!
Heather,
Thanks for the encouragement. It's hard to get real honest sometimes but it helps knowing that others are facing the same challenge. It also helps to look to the great joy the Lord has in store when we rely on him and get real. Erin
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